原創文
上帝與網紅的對話
Conversation between God and Media Influencer
話說，當末日悄悄來臨，
As the End creeps in silently,
網紅們還在跟粉絲瞎扯的時候，
when media influencers are still saying meaningless things with their fans,
上帝決定選一位網紅人物- 五先生，
God decides to pick a media influencer- Mr. Five,
作為幫助祂傳福音的人!
as the one to help spreading gospel!
然而，五先生並不是那麼好被說服，
But, Mr. Five is not an easy person to be convinced,
有鑑於他人生總是碰壁，且面試被洗臉，
He's had some setbacks in his life, and got embarrased during his interviews,
祂也不認識上帝，那麼，上帝會成功嗎??
He doesn't know God, so.. will God succeed?
我們看下去:
Let us see:
上帝: 你真會睡覺啊!
God: You can really take a nap!
五先生: 誰! 現在才中午，我當然還可以睡!
Mr. Five: Who's there? It's only noon, of course I can sleep!
上帝: 中午是該起床吃飯的時候! 不可如此懶惰!
God: It's time to rinse and shine and eat! You can't be this lazy!
五先生: 什麼東西啊? 你是誰? 怎麼闖入我家?
Mr. Five: What the heck? Who are you? How did you get into my house?
上帝: 我是你的父! 看到你這模樣我真的失望!
God: I am your Father! To see you like this really disappoints me!
五先生: 失望? 父? 老兄，你是不是有問題?
Mr. Five: Disappointed? Father? Dude, do you have some issues?
上帝: 你要墮落到甚麼時候呢?
God: How long will you fall from grace?
五先生: 我沒有墮落啊! 我是網紅，你知道嗎?
Mr. Five: I'm not fallen from grace! I am a media influencer, do you know?
上帝: 網紅? 網紅可以讓世界更好嗎?
God: Media influencer? Can they make the world better?
五先生: 當然! 網紅是王道啦!
Mr. Five: Of course! Media influencer is real hot now!
上帝: 網紅的工作內容是甚麼?
God: What is the content of media influencer's job?
五先生: 就是耍酷，介紹產品啦!
Mr. Five: Play cool, and introduce products!
上帝: 這樣可以讓世界更好?
God: This makes the world better?
五先生: 粉絲都很開心啊!
Mr. Five: All my fans are happy!
上帝: 那如果我告訴你，這些事情全部都不好，而且麻痺人心呢?
God: What if I tell you, all those things are no good and dumbs the heart?
五先生: 你真的很奇怪啊! 我要起床準備直播啦!
Mr. Five: You are really weird! I'm getting up and ready for my live show!
(五先生發現動不了)
Mr. Five realized he can't move.
上帝: 你聽好。我有事情要交代你。為了讓你快速明白我到底是誰，為何而來，
我要告訴你我多了解你，花個五分鐘時間。
God: Listen up. I have things to tell you. To let you understand who I am fast, and for what,
I will tell you how much I know you by spending five minutes.
五先生: 唉喔! 你是甚麼師父嗎? 我怎麼動不了啦!
Mr. Five: What the? Are you some kind of master? How come I can't move!
上帝: 在你一歲的時候，你才長出頭髮。你三歲的時候去幼兒園上課卻摔倒，
下巴有疤痕。五歲在南部跟外婆住了一陣子，六歲回北部。
God: When you were one year old, you started to grow hair. When you were three,
you went to the daycare and fell on your chin, so you got a scar. You lived with your
grandma for a while at south when you were five, and you returned to the north at six.
五先生: 你有點可怕了，快讓我走啦!
Mr. Five: You are scary now, let me go!
上帝: 你小學一年級的時候，當過班長，後來功課退步，常常最後一名。
一直到六年級，你喜歡上一個女生，但是她後來搬走了。
God: You were the class leader during your first year of elementary school.
Then you did not study hard, and were the last of the class. You liked a girl
when you were in grade six, but she moved away.
五先生: 你到底是誰? 這事情我沒有跟任何人說過! (怒)
Mr. Five: Who are you? I never told this to anyone! (angered)
上帝: 我說了，我是上帝，你的天父!
God: I told you, I am God, your Father!
五先生: 你是說，你是天上的那個穿白色衣服，鬍子很長的上帝?
被訂在十字架上的那個外國人?
Mr. Five: You mean, you are the man with the white robe from above, the God with long beard?
The foreigner that got hung on a cross?
上帝: 我就是我，任何形式的我都是我。你說的那位是我的獨生子。
他為了人的罪白白犧牲，信他的人就得永生。我不是外國人，或
本國人，我是神。
God: That's me, in any form would be me. The one you talked about is my only son,
he died as an innocent person for people's sins, and if you believe him, you shall have
eternity. I am not a foreigner or national, I am God.
五先生: 等等，就是我常常聽到信耶穌得永生嗎? 誰能永生啦!
Mr. Five: Wait, is it what I often hear to believe in Jesus and I will have eternal life?
Who can life forever?
上帝: 你幫我傳福音，跟隨我，自然就明白有永生了。
God: If you help me to spread the gospel, follow me, you will understand there is eternal life.
五先生: 我是可以相信你。不過，我沒有宗教信仰，你突然這樣來，
我也不會答應你。
Mr. Five: I can believe you. But, I have not religious belief. You drop by suddenly, I will not say yes.
上帝: 我會給你時間想想，末日大概還有一年就要到了。
這段時間，我希望你可以做一件事情。
God: I will give you time to think. There's still one more year before the End.
During this period, I hope you can do one thing.
五先生: 甚麼事情?
Mr. Five: What is it?
上帝: 無論你遇到甚麼事情，都先跟我說，讓我帶領你。
還有，拿去(一本聖經蹦出)。
God: No matter what you encounter, you must tell me first, I will lead you.
And, there you go (a Bible pops out).
五先生: 這啥? 怎麼那麼重?
Mr. Five: What is this? How come so heavy?
上帝: 有空看看，你相信我是上帝，裡面有生命的答案。
God: Read it when you can, you said you believe I am God, there are answers to life in there.
五先生: 那我網紅的事業呢?
Mr. Five: How about my media influencer career?
上帝: 到時候你在永生國度，不要說網紅，你要當超級巨星也可以!
不過，是傳福音的巨星，而且永生不死。對你沒有任何損失。
God: When the time comes for eternal kingdom, you can be a super star even more so than a media influencer!
However, you will be a gospel super star, and live on forever. You suffer no loss.
五先生: 聽起來還不錯，我就先試試看一個月吧! 如果是假的，頂多不理你。
Mr. Five: Sounds good, I will try for one month! If it's fake, I will just leave you.
上帝: 很好，孩子。我先走了，不過我會注意你的!
God: Good, my child. I'll be gone now, but I'll be watching you!
五先生: 好啦! 你趕快走吧，我還驚魂未定。
Mr. Five: Alright! Please, I'm still in shock.
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